Have you put the coffee on ?

Ha, I doubt very much this is what you think it is... :)
And if I am right, you are going to be so glad you read this.

I often like to think of my skin in terms of »alabaster«, »ivory«, »porcelain«... Oh yeah.

That's because I like beautiful, vivid, corny words.
Also, because other people have been calling it such pretty names.

In fact, my skin's colour is very light "beige", with occasional frightening streaks of porcelain blue on my neck that only appear on some photographs (that's what makes it frightening :).

Right now, however, as I am sitting here and writing this, I look – and feel - as if I had been dipped in coffee for some crazy »top fashion« photo shoot of the ANTM kind (and that's a pretty low kind).

That's because I have been.

Have you ever read the ingredients on one of those more or less expensive face creams – sorry, cremes - and body lotions that supposedly fight cellulite and/or sagging and/or wrinkles?

In the past few years, there is one ingredient that almost all of them feature – often quite prominently, in their advertisements: CAFFEINE. (That's because it tightens the blood vessels and it has a general astringent effect on the tissues.)

And so, I have been »dipping« myself in coffee – at least my face, neck and hands, with the occasional coffee bath – ever since I first heard that caffeine was being added to cosmetics.

My first try was with coffee grounds, because that's the »recipe« - more of a (supposed) »folk tradition« - I found on the internet.

Not bad, but the coffee grounds are rather difficult to get into the skin. (On the other hand, coffee grounds can be a wonderful face peeling scrub.)

If you are interested in this version of the treatment, then you might want to know that the Japanese purportedly put pineapple peels – or just chunks of the fruit flesh – in coffee grounds and let it ferment. (That's right: they let it rot.)

This combination supposedly works wonders against wrinkles and sagging skin.

I tried to make it myself. I put coffee grounds and some (cleaned) pineapple peels in a clean porcelain vessel and let it be. But I am sure I did something wrong because after a day or two that mess was just... a mess. A stinking, rotten mess . I couldn't get rid of it fast enough.

Still, you may want to try it. (If you succeed, do let me know!)

So I decided to heed my own maxim – whatever goes into your stomach must be good enough to go on your skin, and vice versa – and went for the kind of coffee I actually drink every day: instant coffee.

(Yes, I know many brands use chemicals in the process. Then again... have you looked at the ingredients in those commercially sold facial concoctions? Would you dare to eat them? If not, they are not good enough for your skin. On the other hand, you probably wouldn't have too many misgivings about drinking a sip or two of instant coffee, would you? If so, there is no reason not to put it on your skin.)

Originally, I just took a tiny spoon of coffee granules and mixed it with a small amount of hot water... and smeared it on my face and neck. After some 20 minutes or so, I washed it off with water.

I was instantly pleased with the results. I have no pores to speak of – I mean, they are almost invisible – and yet, after the coffee mask the skin did look somehow invigorated, as if the pores had tightened even more.

But then I thought the results – whatever they are supposed to be – might be even better if I found a way to get the coffee, along with the caffeine, deeper into the epidermis. I needed a transdermal agent. And one of the best natural – and widely available - transdermal agents I know of so far is aloe vera gel.
(Sesame oil is another interesting agent, but more on it some other time.)

And so, now I mix a tiny spoon of instant coffee with a tiny squirt of aloe vera gel into a dark brown slimy paste and apply it – quickly – on the skin of my neck, face (except the area around the eyes) and hands. It dries very quickly, it smells nice (as you can imagine), so you can let it on for as long as you wish, although 20 minutes should be more than enough. Then I rinse it off with water and a final splash of distilled water (actually, just a cotton soaked in it). The distilled water is totally optional; I only use it because the tap water in my area, while very good and healthy, is rather »hard«.

The final step depends on your needs or preferences.

(If you have read this, you already know this. But just in case, let's recapitulate. ;)

* If you are going to apply a moisturiser, then do NOT dry your skin – instead, apply the cream or oil on the skin while still moist.

* If you are NOT going to apply anything on the skin, then do dry it well (no scrubbing!), because water left on the skin without an agent to bind it – e.g. a moisturiser – actually dries out the skin. An oil or light cream, however, binds the moisture from the water and »seals« it in, making this procedure the absolutely best moisturiser you could possibly want.

If you want a full body coffee treatment, just mix the coffee granules with some sesame oil (or aloe vera gel, if you don't mind the price), rub it on the parts you want to treat, leave it on for 20 minutes... and voila.

A more fun way of treating one's body to coffee without having it pass through the stomach is, of course, a coffee bath.
It is as simple as it sounds: fill the tub with hot or warm water, put in a handful or two of instant coffee, get in... and enjoy. (If you like, and if you have some olfactory experience with them, you can add a few - I said, a FEW - drops of any pure essential oil that complements the aroma of the coffee: for example, vanilla. Or chocolate. There are many other options, too, but we'll discuss them some other time - fear not, we will, because essential oils are one of my pet subjects!)

As for drinking coffee...

Are you one of those health-conscious people who have exchanged coffee – or even tea – for herbal »teas« (in fact, infusions)?

If you really enjoy your new regime and feel better, good for you!

I couldn't be more happy for you. Each one of us should absolutely know what is best for US.

But if you are not really happy about it – or if you feel guilty for enjoying it (that is a DANGEROUS attitude, my dear friend, but more on that some other time) – then you might want to consider some of the facts listed here:

THE COFFEE DETECTIVE

(although I must admit that the quantities seem somewhat excessive to me!)

But there is another thing that you can do that will make this world just a little bit – or more than a little bit – more beautiful for other people; certainly for those who grow the actual beans for your coffee.

Buy FAIR TRADE coffee, if you can afford it.

Why?

Because it is fair.

Think of the extra money you pay for it as an investment into a better world.

Because that's what it is.

And if you think you cannot afford it, then spread the word about the reality of coffee growing and trading. Let it know to those who can afford it. Your contribution to a better world will still have been a very real one.

Because...

IF YOUR HEART AND YOUR WATER ARE PURE YOU CAN MAKE FANTASTIC COFFEE...

(Oh yeah - check the October 1941 advertisement from LIFE magazine below, if you don't believe me! That famous Like Water for Chocolate doesn't look all that original now, does it...?)

It was taken from this fantastically entertaining collection of "Coffee Paraphernalia".

If you visit it (no hidden commercial links here), then I am sure you shall deserve "their orchids". ;)